Ah, procrastination! The siren song that beckons writers away from their keyboards and into the warm embrace of distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself rearranging your bookshelf instead of working on your novel or suddenly deciding that your sock drawer desperately needs organizing, you’re not alone. Procrastination is an art form, and writers, in particular, have honed it to a fine craft. Join us on as we explore the delightful world of procrastination and offer you a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to perfect this essential skill.
1. The Prewriting Ritual:
Before you even begin writing, it’s crucial to indulge in a prewriting ritual. This can involve anything from brewing the perfect cup of tea to rearranging your writing desk for the umpteenth time. Remember, a cluttered workspace is a creative one (or so you tell yourself).
2. Research Overload:
You can never have too much research, right? Spend hours, nay, days, exploring obscure facts and tangentially related topics. Who knows when that knowledge of medieval basket weaving will come in handy for your sci-fi novel set in the 25th century? I just fell into a barrel research rabbit hole, I had no idea that the Celts invented barrels and even the Northern Empire Romans used barrels for their wine. No barrels from that period have been found close to Rome, they seemed to have stuck with amphorae… I feel a blog post coming on…
3. Procrastination Apps:
Embrace the irony by downloading apps designed to help you avoid procrastination. Spend hours customizing them, setting timers, and then promptly ignoring them while you scroll through cat memes.
4. Social Media Stalking:
One of the most effective forms of procrastination is social media stalking. Spend quality time stalking your high school crush’s cousin’s best friend’s vacation photos. It’s practically research for character development!
5. The Snack Break:
Fuel your creativity with snacks. Need inspiration? Reach for the chips. Stuck on a plot point? Munch on some chocolate. Each snack break is a step closer to becoming the next Shakespeare of snack-time productivity.
6. The Art of Lists:
Make lists of all the tasks you need to complete before you can start writing. Then, create sub-lists for each task. The sheer satisfaction of crossing items off these lists may give you the illusion of productivity, even if your word count remains stagnant.
7. Perfectionism Paralysis:
Perfectionism is a procrastinator’s best friend. Never start writing until you’re convinced every word will be pure gold. In fact, spend more time thinking about writing than actually writing.
8. Peer Review Distractions:
Seek out writing groups and online forums where you can critique others’ work. It’s an excellent way to procrastinate on your own writing while pretending to be productive.
9. The Illusion of Productivity:
Invest in productivity tools, notebooks, and gadgets. The more you acquire, the more you’ll feel like a writer. It’s all about the aesthetics, after all.
10. The Clean Dream:
This is where checking sock drawers for unmatched pairs, alphabetising spice cabinets, (extra points if you decant everything into matching jars and print out matching labels), dusting the skirting boards, washing windows are all valid forms of procrastination, however they should only be used in an emergency as you will have tangible proof of why your word count has not budged all day.
Finally, remember that procrastination is an art, not a science. There’s always tomorrow to start writing. And if not tomorrow, there’s the day after that. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your novel won’t be either.
Perfecting the art of procrastination is a writer’s rite of passage. Embrace the distractions, revel in the detours, and know that sometimes, the path to creativity is paved with well-earned procrastination breaks. So, go forth, dear writer, and procrastinate with gusto. Your masterpiece will still be waiting for you when you’re good and ready to write. As I tell myself on a regular basis, I should be editing yet here I am, scheduling another post…
What is your preferred mode of procrastination? Do you have an ultimate writing snack and is your writing space spotless??
Happy procrastinating!
