Guest Post – Anxiety and Self-Doubt: My Constant Writing Companions (and tools for alleviating them) by Lucy A. McLaren

We met Lucy a few days ago during an interview, where she shared a bit about herself and her upcoming book. Here she shares with us an post on anxiety and self doubt. Something that many writers face. Follow Lucy on her website here and on Twitter.

I’m writing this blogpost from the point of view of someone who is both a writer and a counsellor. I am not an expert in either of these fields, but they are areas for which I feel equally passionate—and for me they are inherently linked together, whilst also influencing each other.

I started writing my first book A Child’s Awakening in March 2018 when I was mid-way through obtaining my degree in Counselling. I had started personal therapy. I was learning about theories relating to mental health, identity and counselling practice which I began to apply to myself and my relationships. I started questioning long-held beliefs that had been embedded since childhood. I understood why I felt how I did (low self-confidence, low self-esteem, anxious) and started making changes. And, best of all, I finally had the confidence to pursue the long-held dream of writing a book—and to see it through.

I had wanted to write for as long as I can remember. The reason I didn’t between the ages of around 16 to 28 was because I was riddled with self-doubt and anxiety, fear of failure, not being good enough. I was always an anxious person, especially when it came to social situations or being put in a position where I automatically felt exposed or open to criticism or judgement. Though these feelings were certainly alleviated by attaining my counselling degree and going through personal therapy, I have found that being a writer has brought old thoughts and feelings that I thought I’d dealt with two years ago bubbling back to the surface.

I’ve seen a lot of similar posts in various places about writers feeling the same; unable to focus on a project they don’t believe they have the skill to pull off. Being afraid to complete a manuscript draft because they’re scared that, once it’s done, they’re one step closer towards rejection. And then once you start writing, you can fall too far on the other side of the spectrum. It can become all-consuming, always striving to do better, type more, finish that draft, that edit, that series. (My fellow author Zoe J. Walker has done a great article on her feelings around the potentially addictive nature of writing, featured on my website here (insert link)). But I am focusing on the former mindset: the anxiety, self-doubt, questioning and criticising that goes through your head when you are trying to put a part of yourself into the world but are crippled with fear at the idea of others actually reading it. (I’d like to add here that some anxiety is normal. Everyone has it to some degree; it can help us to function. But sometimes it can take over and it’s at these times that, perhaps, you might need a little help to deal with it.)

So, my aim in writing this post is two-fold. Firstly, to help other writers (or anyone, really) who might have similar thoughts cycling through their mind to see they’re not alone. Anxiety can be insidious, creeping up on you and taking hold before you know it. It might be ingrained in you from outside beliefs or experiences from childhood. But we are in this together and by gaining this knowledge, we can start to move away from those anxious thoughts, ideas, beliefs and feelings.

Secondly, I wanted to provide a few suggestions for tools or techniques that I use (both for myself and as a counsellor) that may help if you are feeling anxious.

Try completing a daily gratitude journal (good examples of these can be found here and here). A lot of times, anxiety can involve being stuck in a perpetual negative thinking cycle. And that’s hard to get out of. Habits are hard to break, yes, but it can be done. By utilising a gratitude journal, you can begin to think about things in a different light. Focus on what you’re proud of, what you like about yourself or what you’ve achieved, and you will slowly start to break away from the automatic negative thinking you’ve become entrenched in.
Along a similar vein, if you have a smart phone and would like to be able to keep a journal on your phone rather than on paper, the NHS recommends the Catch It app. This can be downloaded for free and enables you to record your mood and explore it a little more in depth and consider how you can change it. I have found this a great tool to have to hand.
Use mindfulness to help calm your mind, get in touch with your thoughts and alleviate stress. I often recommend the Headspace app (which is free for the first 10 days). This worksheet gives a good outline of what mindfulness is, and this worksheet has a few different suggestions for exercises to try.
Yoga is similar to mindfulness in that some exercises utilise meditation and a focus on breathing to help you reconnect with your mind and body. This isn’t for everyone but if you’re up for trying, I cannot recommend Yoga with Adriene on YouTube enough. She has free yoga videos for beginners up to more advanced yogis.
Thought exploration worksheets such as this or this can help you to go over your thinking patterns and consider how you might look at them differently. You may like to do this with someone you trust, in case any difficult emotions come up.

I hope you can find something useful here. Please note that all of the above are only suggestions. Don’t try (or continue with) anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Also bear in mind that different things work for different people. If you do try any of the above out, see what fits for you.

Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Changes in habits take time to implement.

Take one step at a time.

Be mindful of what is suitable for you and, as I said, only try or continue with exercises you feel comfortable with. And please remember that if you do feel unable to cope, overwhelmed or stressed—reach out to someone, whether that be a friend, family member or professional.

If you’re in the U.K., I’ve suggested some organisations that may be of assistance below: